how things change in a few short months. it feels like i’ve lived a thousands lives, burned a thousand bridges across ever shifting sands, and only looked back a few times.

what is this month’s flavour?

it’s herbalism. it’s blogging. it’s sending all my film to the lab because i need a break from developing it at home and making my bathroom a mess.

it’s trying to retain my voice in a caucophony of AI generated corporate speak emails and documents.

it’s getting annoyed at the performative nature of quite literally everything around me at work, in life, on the internet and off.

there is one newsletter i receive from someone i admire and one of the recent topics was reflecting on why we might be triggered by something and what does that say to us about us.

so, being triggered by performative language and the commercial nature seeping into every aspect of our lives by brands, companies, and now even fellow community members, friends, etc. what does that say about me? am i continuing to unmask and the result is being more observant as to how others are masking? am i seeking more genuine connections because it seems like nothing and nobody around me will be real for a hot second? do i crave a workplace and personal environment that feels more human? or because i am grounding myself more into nature with the gardening and chickens and herbalism that now to be anything that goes against human nature or the natural way we are illicits a negative response in myself?

and does that all sound ridiculous? here i am at a computer typing out these potentially pretentious thoughts and isn’t that contradictory…

perhaps i’ve just spent too much time thinking lately and not enough time identifying strange bugs in the garden.

this post will no doubt follow the typical eclectachrome format…start with an idea and topic in mind, write free flow until it turns into a rant about a completely different topic, bring it back only at the very end and sign off and never read again and realize how truly choatic the writing is.

ha!

i am chaos. i am fire.

it’s hard not to shape myself into something to publish that is palatable for general intake but i’m trying!

-m